


Highschool Sweethearts (Jensen X Reader)

by heyitsme1040



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Fanfiction, Jensen Ackles - Freeform, My First Work in This Fandom, Romance, Work In Progress, inprocess, jensen - Freeform, unedited
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:47:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 20,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26808364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyitsme1040/pseuds/heyitsme1040
Summary: When you need a fresh start, you decide to apply to job applications in Vancouver to gain a change of pace. Upon landing a job to be a personal assistant, you get ready to leave it all behind. All the memories, anger, and relations you had. You wanted the escape, to get as far as possible from your past. But what happens when your boss is where this all stemmed from?
Relationships: Jensen Ackles & Reader, Jensen Ackles/Reader
Comments: 23
Kudos: 23





	1. Getting the Job

**Author's Note:**

> I just want to say all posts to this story can also be found on my Wattpad account. The username for there is the same as here, so it shouldn't be too hard to find the profile. Besides that, here is the authors note.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AUTHOR'S NOTE: PLEASE READ
> 
> Hi, so this is obviously a work of fiction. I still wanted to state that, none of what is written is intended to be taken as how the real life people act. I personally really love the cast and crew (past and present) and the people in their lives. What I write is all fictional, the only things based on real life are the names of people being a fictional version of that person, and references to the show Supernatural. I own nothing of Supernatural, however things occurring in the show will be mentioned at times throughout this story. Supernatural is owned by Warner Brothers, and I am not claiming anything that they own. I am merely referencing things by them. I am also aware that some people did not work there still at the time this is set in, but I wanted to kind of pay an homage towards some of the crew that was such a big part of the show and is no longer working with them. Again, it's fictional so it makes sense if you remember that fact. 
> 
> Also, this is a fanfiction where you are the main character. I’m also assuming you’re a female reading this, so all the reader’s pronouns will be feminine pronouns. So, in case you haven’t ever read a story like this, I am going to have a key explaining how these work.
> 
> (Y/N) = Your Name  
> (Y/M/N) = Your Middle Name  
> (Y/L/N) = Your Last Name  
> (Y/E/C) = Your Eye Color  
> (Y/H/C) = Your Hair Color  
> (Y/H/L) = Your Hair Length  
> (Y/H) = Your Height  
> (Y/F/C) = Your Favorite Color
> 
> If there are anymore throughout the story that I have not listed above, I will both update this and put an author’s note at the start of the chapter. Thank you, the next part will be the actual story and I will try to have as few authors notes as chapters, but may have a few at the end of chapters.
> 
> (This was originally the first post on this work, but it threw off the chapter numberings, so I'm placing it here. This section was originally poster Oct. 3, 2020.)  
> \---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I sighed heavily as I closed the door to my apartment. It was yet another late night working at a diner, just trying to make ends meet. Setting my purse and apron on the table near the door, I click on my answering machine. 

“Hi, I’m calling for a Miss (Y/L/N). This is Eric Kripke. I saw your resumé for the position of a personal assistant, and you are more than qualified. I would like to offer you the position; if you are still interested in the job, please call me back as soon as possible,” the answering machine beeped off.

Checking it wasn’t too late in the evening, I called the number back.

“Hello?” A woman answers.

“Hi, I’m calling for Mister Kripke?” I speak into the phone.

“May I ask who is speaking”

“This is (Y/N) (Y/L/N), I’m returning his call.”

“One moment please,” she says before I’m waiting. 

As the call is on hold I look through my job applications. I was trying to find my application to be a personal assistant. I didn’t even notice that I applied to be someone’s assistant. I’ve just been applying to jobs as far away from Texas as I could find. I can’t take the memories here anymore. I need as new of a start as I can get. The further I am the easier it will be to forget.

“Thank you for returning my call Miss (Y/L/N),” Eric, abruptly cutting off the hold tone, greets me.

“It was no problem. When I heard I was being considered for the job, I called as soon as possible,” I eagerly responded.

“Yes, I wanted to inform you of the position and know if you would be willing to take it. The job position’s description was a little vague due to who you’d be a personal assistant for. We made the choice to have it vague so only those interested in the position would apply, and not those wanting to work for this celebrity.”

_I will be assisting a celebrity,_ I think. _This could be very interesting. Hopefully it won’t be too bad._

“You would be assisting one of the lead actors of _Supernatural_ ,” Eric continues, “on set in Vancouver. It says on your application that you live in Texas?”

“Yes, I do. However, I am looking to move. That’s why I applied, I am leaving Texas soon,” I reply.

“If that’s the case, then could you move to Vancouver? We would pay the expenses of travel and getting your items sent to your new address. If so you could start working in the next week and a half.”

“I can move there. Thank you, for all you are offering to cover and giving me this opportunity of work. I will move there, and I will be able to be there in three days.”

“Thank you, Miss (Y/L/N). I will send your plane ticket confirmation to the email listed on your resumé. We look forward to you joining our crew. Have a good rest of your day.”

“You as well,” I smile as I hang up the phone.

I quickly call my boss at the diner and inform him that I will no longer be working there. Then, I begin looking for apartments in Vancouver. It’s going to be a long night searching for a new place to make home. I have three days to find a new home, pack everything I own into boxes, tell my landlord I’m leaving, and pack a suitcase for a month. 

**\----**

**Hi, just wanted to say thank you for reading. The first few chapters are going to be kind of short, and may feel like the story is slow. I just wanted to let you know because it will get better, I just feel like I have so much to explain in the start of this book. Hopeful it won’t drag on for too long though. I promise it will only be a 4/5 chapter start to this book, then it will really pick up.**

**Thank you again for reading!**


	2. Packing a Lifetime

Rubbing my eyes, I look around the living room. After hours of searching, I found an apartment in Vancouver and told my landlord I’m leaving. Now I need to figure out where to begin packing. I grab some boxes and begin in the kitchen. There isn’t much to pack in there, which I’m grateful for since I’ll need to buy more packing supplies. Once I have all the dishes, silverware, and pans packed away I notice just how late it is. Yawning, I walk to my room and get ready for bed. 

Just as I get into bed my phone goes off. Looking at the notification, I see I got an email from Eric. 

“Miss (Y/L/N),

I have attached your flight confirmation to this email. Thank you again for joining our crew, we look forward to your arrival. After getting settled in your new home, please come to the set, so you can sign the necessary paperwork. I have also attached the needed address to this email.

We look forward to meeting you,

Eric Kripke,” the email said.

Saving the address and looking at the flight confirmation, I finally sleep, preparing for the long day ahead.

\---

The following morning I went to the store to buy more packing supplies. Once I got home, I saw just how difficult a process this was going to be. I had to pack a lifetime of things and didn’t know where to start. Shaking my head I begin with the living room. I labeled the boxes as they were filled, some with blankets others with my records and player. This room took the longest, having to pack some various decorations and candles. Next was the bathroom, where I packed everything but my soaps and hair iron.

Finally, I had to pack my room. I looked around for what felt like the final time. Seeing the dirty clothes, shoes thrown in the closet, and pictures on my walls gave me a sense of calm in this rush of leaving. Deciding what to do first, I start my dirty clothes to be cleaned and grab my largest suitcase. I figure since my stuff is going to be mailed to my new apartment, I should bring about a month’s worth of clothes. 

I wasn’t entirely certain what clothes I should pack, since I didn’t know what the work environment would really be like. To be on the safe side, I pack some jeans and dress pants, along with a mixture of shirts, blouses, and buttoned shirts. Not certain on what the weather will be doing, I pack a jacket and casual blazer to be safe, as well as a sweatshirt for night. Not wanting to bring many shoes with me, I grab some nude heels, some tennis shoes, and a pair of black slip-ons. One thing off the list to pack from my bedroom.

On to the next task at hand, I grab some more boxes. I pack all of my shoes into a box and label it. I also hear my laundry finish, so I grab the clothing to be packed as I fold. I then begin to place my tops out of my closet and into a box. Nearing the back of my closet, I see a hoodie that causes my chest to tighten. An old JV Berkner High hoodie. Swallowing the lump beginning to form in my throat, I pack it as well. Taping the box closed and labeling it, I move on to my dresser. I grab three smaller boxes and pack my pajamas, undergarments, and bottoms into their respective boxes. Once those are closed and labeled, I grab a backpack. 

In it I place my laptop and charger, a portable battery pack, and my extra phone charger. I figure as I continue to pack I will place the items I want by me on the flight in the backpack. I turn towards my small book collection. I grab my final box, and I begin to fill it. By the time I finish packing all my books, the box is only half filled. I give my room a final look around to see if I missed anything, and my eyes land on my bed. My heart sinks as I remember the four shoeboxes under it. Taking a breath to steady myself, I move to get the shoeboxes. 

My hands shake a little more with each box I pull out. The first box removed has the least dust on it, since it’s the most recently added box. I feel my chest tighten again as I look at the name ‘Mom’ scrawled on the lid. The next makes me let out a sob, seeing ‘Dad’ written on the lid. The next has quite a bit of dust, so it’s hard to see the words ‘High School’ on the lid. There is so much dust on the next lid that I can’t even see the name, but I know what’s there. The memories flood at me, causing a choked sob to escape as I place it in the moving box. I sniffle as I close and tape the box, deciding that whatever is left to be dealt with can wait until tomorrow. 

I rub the tears from my eyes as I decide it’s best for me to lay down. The ache in my heart feels so much more intense than from when mom died. I’ve been keeping everything in since we learned about dad’s health deteriorating. So many years of hurt and pain have rushed back to the surface, just from having to pack those boxes. 

I let the tears fall freely for the first time since dad’s funeral. I do nothing but stare at my ceiling, letting the waves of grief, pain, and sadness wash over me. Eventually, the tears slow down and I’m left exhausted. It’s a good thing to be leaving all these memories behind, right?


	3. Preparing for Vancouver

The sun shining onto my face is what I first notice, then the headache makes itself known. I sit up slightly disoriented, trying to remember why I went to sleep fully clothed. I glance around seeing the packed boxed, and my eyes land on the one labeled ‘Books and Under Bed’ giving my heart a little squeeze once again. I tear my eyes from the box and make my way to find Advil or something for this headache. 

Swallowing the medicine and putting coffee on, I check my phone. I have an email from Eric, skimming the contents I see he’s asking me to just send an invoice for the shipping fees they’ll be covering for me. I look at the flight confirmation again, and see I need to be at the airport for three in the evening tomorrow. The coffee pot beeps, making me jump from my thoughts.

“Okay,” I think aloud, “I need to rent a car for today. I also need to bring my furniture to GoodWill or someplace like that, I can’t ship that to my new place. I also need to bring all the boxes to the post office and start getting them mailed to the apartment as well…” I trail off as I take a sip of coffee.

I’m feeling better about my decision to leave than I did last night. I can finally leave Texas, just like I wished I could all those years ago. Everything works itself out I guess, I just wish it didn’t work out the way it did. 

Finished with my coffee, I begin to prepare for my last errands before being ready to leave Texas. I was nervous, but I knew this was the right choice for me. 

\---

I got home later than I expected. Dropping my now old furniture off at GoodWill was no issue. The post office was a pain though, and the fact that I had multiple large boxes wasn’t doing me any favors either. But I eventually got all of them set to be flown first class, and they would be at my new home throughout the next couple of weeks. I made sure to get a receipt before I left, and I figure I can bring that to Eric when I go to sign paperwork. After returning the car rental, I got an Uber back to my apartment.

This was my last night here. I did a last walkthrough, making sure everything I needed was already packed in my suitcase and backpack. I took a hoodie from my suitcase and put it in the backpack for the flight. I also made sure my laptop charger was in my bag, and sighed in relief when I saw it was. Going to the bathroom I gather all my toiletries and put them in my suitcase. All I had left to do was make it through the night and I’d be free from there. I couldn’t help the sense of relief that flooded through me as I relaxed for the evening.

\---

I placed the key to the apartment on the counter and walked out, suitcase in hand and backpack on. This was it. I texted my now former landlord the key was on the counter as per his request, and walked out of the complex. I got a taxi to the airport and was feeling a few nerves. I wasn’t a fan of flying, but it was better than having to drive to Vancouver. I just had to fly for seven hours, then I could start anew. 

I arrive at the airport an hour before my flight leaves. I get my bags checked, go through TSA, and wait near my gate. I take a seat and pull my phone out of my pocket, just in time to see my alarm alert me it’s five minutes until three. I should be departing soon. I have a feeling that this flight is going to be interesting.

Suddenly I hear the gate agent calling for first class to board. I see a small crowd of people make their way to the agent; an older couple stands out to me as the man kindly guides his wife towards the gate with such care. They seem so sweet, I hope to find that one day. Next the agent calls for business class to board, and many people in suits and formal attire make their way to board. There are two men that are hard to miss in this group; aside from their much more casual attire and wearing hats with sunglasses, they were both well over six foot. From what I could see the taller of the two had long hair for a guy, and the shorter one seemed oddly familiar to me. There was something about him that I recognized, but I couldn’t place what it was, I just had a feeling I knew him from somewhere. Maybe I saw him at a store a few days ago, or somewhere in town while running errands yesterday? 

I tried to shake the feeling as the economy section of the plane was called. I got up, walked to the agent and showed her my ticket. Boarding the plane, I saw those two men again and that uneasiness came back to me. I took a deep breath trying to calm myself, this was going to be a much longer seven hour flight than I expected. I just hope the flight goes well and I can leave the plane as soon as possible. Luck was on my side though as I was the only person in my row, so I wouldn’t have to worry about dealing with someone else during the flight. 

I was only half listening to the flight attendant as she went through the safety speech. Soon after all the passengers were buckled in and we began to go down the runway. I squeezed my eyes shut as we began to ascend into the sky, only opening them when we were leveled out and the seatbelt light turned off. I sighed as I found my headphones and began to drown out my worries with music. I stared out the window, trying my best not to think during the entirety of the flight, waiting to see Vancouver below. Something in me still felt off since seeing that man, and I knew the feeling wasn’t going to leave. 

After the seven hour long flight, that felt more like twelve, we were finally back on the ground. We departed from the plane in reverse of how we boarded it. Economy got off, then business, and finally first class. Once I was through security I stood near the baggage claim to get my suitcase. I was one of the last people to get their luggage, and once I had it I immediately went outside to hail a taxi. As I was entering the vehicle, about to tell the driver the address to my new apartment, I saw those two men again. They were getting into the back of a black SUV, and I could have sworn the shorter of the two looked straight at me. Tearing my eyes from this mysterious man, I finished telling the driver my address. I looked at everything as the driver wove through the late night traffic to my new home.

_ Good thing I brought a hoodie,  _ I mused to myself.  _ Looks like a cold night, the windows all seem to be frosted wherever we go. That’ll take some getting used to. _


	4. Arrival

When I finally arrive at my apartment complex, it is almost midnight. I enter into the lobby and knock on the door claiming to be the office. Considering the hour, I was surprised when the door opened.

“What can I do for you?” Stephanie, according to her name tag, asked irritatedly.

“I’m sorry, I’m a new tenant here. Apartment 127, according to the digital lease I signed,” I replied. “I know it’s late, I just landed here.”

“It’s fine, just give me one moment to grab everything.”

Before I could respond, the door shut as abruptly as it opened. I couldn’t blame her, I wouldn’t want to work at this time either.

“Here is your key, and a copy of the lease you signed online,” she rattled off handing me both items. “If you could just sign both copies next to the ‘In Person Key Retrieval’ blank, then you can go to your room. It will be on the third floor.”

I hum a response as I sign the paperwork. As I turn to leave I let out a quick thank you, and head to the elevator with my luggage. Making it to the third floor, I begin the search for apartment 127. It wound up being half way down the left hallway. Trying my best not to bang the door and disturb my new neighbors, I enter my new home and turn the lights on. It was bigger in person than I expected from the description online. 

Exiting the entryway, I saw the kitchen was separated from a dining area by an island, and the living room had a sliding door to a balcony. A small hallway exited the living room, and there were four rooms branching off the hall. The first on the left appeared to be something of a laundry room, which I was grateful there would be no need for a laundromat. The second door on the left appeared to be a bedroom, but seeing the size of it I figured it could easily become a home office. Across from the first bedroom was the bathroom, and I was surprised by how spacious it was. Finally, the first door on the right was the other bedroom. I was right that the other bedroom was smaller, because this was obviously the master. There was what appeared to be a queen sized bed, a walk in closet, and another bathroom attached to the bedroom. 

Placing my suitcase on the bed, I pulled out some pajamas. Getting ready for bed, I sent Eric an email letting him know I landed and just got to my apartment. I also told him that I would be there tomorrow around four to sign the necessary paperwork. Plugging my phone in, I tried to sleep. I was glad that I had a week until my first official day as a personal assistant. 

\---

Hearing my alarm go off, I grabbed my phone. Seeing it was noon, I groaned as I got out of bed. I took a shower to alleviate the tension in my body. First thing on the agenda, go sign the paperwork. Stepping into the steam filled room, I began to get ready. Deciding to make as good a first impression as possible, I decide on wearing a button down top with dress pants and my flats. I put my hair in a simple twist, and went for a natural makeup look. Seeing that I still had two hours until I told Eric I’d be there, I made my way downstairs. I needed to rent a car for the next week as I didn’t have any transportation at the moment. 

Upon finally getting a rental car, I began the drive to the address Eric gave me. Upon my arrival, I had to stop at a security gate. 

“Excuse me,” I began, “I’m here to sign some paperwork. Mister Kriple is expecting me around four, my name is (Y/N) (Y/L/N).”

“Alright,” the guard responded after checking a clipboard. “You can go on through. Mister Kripke is usually in the trailer all the way down at this time.”

He opened the gate and waved me through. As I pulled into the area, I realised something. There were so many different trailers, and there was no singular area that Eric could be all the way down at. This was going to be very difficult. Stressed out, I parked near the gate I just entered through and tried to find somebody to ask for clearer directions. I finally saw somebody, and decided I should just ask them.

“Excuse me, sir?” I asked the man.

“Yes?” He responded warily; I noticed that he seemed like the taller man I’d seen at the airport last night.

“Sorry to bother you, I was wondering where I could find Mister Kripke? I was told he would be in the trailer all the way down, but,” I gestured to the three trailer areas,” there are a few options that could be. Is there any chance you could help me?”

“Oh, Eric is down there,” he pointed towards the first cluster of trailers.

“Thank you so much.”

“Before you go, can I ask why you're looking for him?”

“I’m supposed to sign paperwork to become someone’s new personal assistant. He wanted me to sign the paperwork as soon as I got here, and I start next week.”

“You just got here? Like to work or…?” He trailed off. 

“Kind of, I just moved here from Texas. That’s why I have to sign the paperwork now, but start in a week. I’m still getting situated here in Vancouver,” I over explained. 

“Alright, I’ll leave you to it then. Good luck, and remember Eric’s office is that way,” he said with a smile.

“Thank you,” I waved as I began to make my way to Eric’s trailer.

\---

I knocked on the door, letting Eric know I was there. I didn’t hear any movement inside, and wasn’t going to just waltz in. I knock once more and hear shuffling. The door peeks open at first, and then is swung wide open.

“May I help you?” The man asks.

“Are you mister Kripke?” I respond. “I’m here to sign some paperwork for him.”

“Oh, Miss (Y/L/N), excuse me. Please, step in!”

I walk into the trailer and glance around. There are papers everywhere, a desk, and what looks to be a folding table. The room appeared to be in an orderly chaos. There was some sort of system in the way all the piles were, but there was no way I could even try to understand it. 

“Sorry for the state of the room,” Eric apologizes. “We are just starting the season and the writers and myself have been busy.”

“It’s no problem,” I reassure him. “I figure it’s not always smooth sailing when filming a show. So much more goes on behind the scenes than people are aware of.”

“You’re right about that,” he says as he goes through piles of paper. “Here it is! If you could just sign at the tree marked places, and I can make copies for you as well.”

“No problem. I was also wondering, what exactly does being an actor’s personal assistant consist of?”

“Well, you’ll be helping in the day to day life of filming. Helping with getting to sets on time, knowing his schedule, reminding him about meetings, and whatever tasks he asks you to take care of as well. Really, you’re going to be an extra set of hands to keep him on track. With everything that’s been going on, we decided that he could use the help. At least for this season, future seasons we’ll just have to see how it is at the end of this one.”

“Okay, that’s no issue,” I say as I hand him the papers. 

“Here is your copy, and I look forward to seeing you next week.”

I give a small nod, and turn to leave the trailer. My eyes catch a picture of the tall, long haired man I saw outside with someone a little shorter than him. Something seemed familiar about the stature of the dirty blond, but I couldn’t place it. The same odd feeling I had at the airport settles in my stomach. As I walk out, I feel as though I know him, whoever he is. 

Writing it off as the effects of jetlag, I go to my rental. I get in and begin the drive home, reminding myself that this is a new start. Everything is going to seem a little odd until I get into a routine. 


	5. The Week Leading Up

The days following me signing the paperwork were uneventful. It was now four days since I signed, and I was slowly getting furniture into the apartment, since it only came with appliances, a TV, and the bed. 

All I had to do for the laundry room was get a couple of baskets in there, as well as buying detergent. I bought maroon towels and washcloths for the master bathroom, and for the guest I bought dark grey towels. I knew I was going to have to wait for my toiletries to arrive from Texas, so in the meantime I used what I still had from flying here. As well as waiting for those to arrive, I have to wait for all my kitchen necessities to arrive, so I knew I was going to be ordering a few nights. I did get some granola bars for the mornings, and a case of water to have something to drink on hand.

The first room I furnished was the living room. I got a leather couch, a light wood coffee table, and matching end tables. On the back of the couch I got a warm grey blanket, as well as black and grey pillows to be on the couch. I also got black shelves under where the TV was already mounted. In one corner I put a shelving unit for my records to be stored in, and there was plenty of room to put the record player on top of the shelves. The room still seemed bare to me, but I knew time would fix that. 

In my bedroom, I didn’t know what to do. I bought some white sheets, and a heavy dark green comforter. I also decided to change the walls from the harsh white paint to a softer light grey. I got two dark wood bookshelves and put them on either side of the doorway to my closet. The closet was so big that I didn’t need a dresser, so I had a lot of empty space in here. I got a simple bench and put it at the foot of the bed. 

_ It’s just going to take time,  _ I reminded myself.  _ You don’t have to fully make this place feel like home. It’s going to take awhile. It’ll feel less empty when your stuff arrives.  _

Just as I finish that thought, I hear a knock at my door. I hurry over and look through the peephole. Seeing a delivery man, I open the door. 

“Delivery for the (Y/L/N) residency,” the delivery man says in a bored tone.

“Thank you,” I say as I sign for the three boxes that are at my door.

He just walks away as I start to bring them into the apartment. Once I close the door again I look at their labels. The kitchen box came in, as well as the box from the living room that holds my old decorations. The final box is my books and under-the-bed boxes. Putting the boxes into their respective rooms, I begin to unpack. I start off with the kitchen. Placing all the dishes into cabinets calms me. Something normal finally in my new home, something to help it feel less alien to me. Putting the coffee pot on the counter, and my snack bowl on the island, I feel accomplished as I progress in getting settled yet again. I walk to the living room and the same. I place a candle on one end table, and my picture frames on the unit below the TV. I decide I’ll put my movies away tomorrow, because I do not feel like alphabetizing them all right now. 

The box I’ve been worrying over is all that’s left to do today. With a heavy heart I walk back to the bedroom to unpack it. I take the shoeboxes and place them on the bed, deciding it’s best if I handle those last. I take my books and begin to fill some of the bookshelves. I decide to put the books together by the series it is, and if it’s just a single novel, I put it after the previous. I think back to how they were always alphabetized, but that doesn’t matter with books. 

_ Books hold stories that work together, so why not place them as such?  _ I think to myself. 

The shelves aren’t full, but I’m out of books to fill them. Which brings me to what I’ve been dreading since I packed them, the shoeboxes. I give in on the desire to wallow in the memories held by them. Taking a deep breath to brace myself, I open the first box I made. ‘High School’ it reads. The first things my eyes land on are all four year books. All the years I attended JV Berkner High, held within these pages. I sniffle a little as I open one of them. It was my freshman year, and the picture is of the student section at one of the countless football games I’d gone to. I release a strangled chuckle as I see myself linked arm in arm with the first friend I’d made in high school, Melissa. It’s been years since I’d seen her, and I know I have her on Instagram. It’s mind boggling how someone who could mean so much to you at one point in life can barely be part of it later. I grab all four year books and put them on a shelf with all my other books. I shuffle through the box to see my graduation tassel, my class ring, and a transcript along with other papers.

Dad’ is the name I trace over, opening the second box I’d made. He’d had some health issues all through my days in high school, but after I graduated his health declined rapidly. He’d passed away nine months after my graduation. I let a few tears fall as I think of him laying in that hospital bed, of how hard I’d worked to be able to help pay his treatment bills. But the treatment was never a guaranteed fix, it was only ever an extension. An extension I will forever be grateful for. I see the binder I’d made, filled with nothing but the letters my dad wrote me and mom while he was in the hospital. I turn to a random page of the letters, and take some comfort in the familiar writing of my dad. I skim the letter, taking in the writing but not the words. The only line I read is the last, written just like on all his other letters to me.  _ I will always love you, babygirl. You’ll always be my princess.  _ More tears flow as I close the binder and place it on the shelf with the yearbooks. I look in the box to see pictures of my dad. Him holding me as a baby, helping me ride my bike, hugging me on my first day of high school, and so many more. There is a DVD in there with ‘To My Baby’s Future Husband’ written on the disc. I’ve never watched it, never known what that disc holds of my dad, never certain when he filmed it. 

I snap the box lid closed and reach for the ‘Mom’ box. The first thing I see is her old journal. I wipe my eyes as I grab it and set it with the other books, already knowing what it holds. The comfort of having her thoughts, a part of her, with me still. I sift my way through the photographs of her, looking to see if they’re in the box. I find the two black velvet boxes, and grab them. My parents’ wedding rings. The things that symbolize to me that they’re together, forever. I let out a shaking laugh as I think of them together like they always were. Her teasing him as he just looked at her like she was the world. And that’s exactly what she was, his world. She held on for as long as she could without him, but I knew how badly she’d missed dad. How she’d written letters to him after he died, written and spoke prayers to him, all in her journal. A love that even death couldn’t keep from growing every day. Until she’d passed away in her sleep, a peaceful way to go according to the doctors. It was three years to the day that dad had passed away that she joined him. Able to love him forever like they’d promised all those years ago. Clearing the lump from my throat, I placed the ring boxes back into the shoebox and shut it.

I was left with one box. Knowing what I was getting into, I dusted the lid off to see  _ his  _ name. In a faded marker I saw the name ‘Jensen’ scrawled across the lid. My hands shook as I removed the lid, and what I saw gave me a sense of comfort and ache all at once. I let the tears fall freely as I removed his old baseball jersey. I let it unfold so I could see his number and last name. I let out a shaky laugh as I traced over his last name and the 36 under it. Leaving the jersey in my lap, I looked into the box again. I saw his photo album, notebooks, and folders. I took out the notebooks first, each one labeled with the school year I got them. Placing them on the bookshelf, I thought of why he gave me them. He’d write his entire day down for me, every summer, so it wouldn’t feel like we were apart between school years. The first day of school, without fail, Jensen would find me near the library to hand me the notebook and see what classes we either had together or close to each other. The next thing I took to the bookshelf was his folders. Again, they corresponded with a school year, but this time they were the letters given during the year. I placed those three folders next to the notebooks. The fourth folder was letters I wrote to him, but never could send. 

Sniffling I pulled out the picture album. I flipped to a random page; it was our senior prom. We were crowned king and queen. Next to the picture was a note from Jensen. “I’m just glad everyone else sees my princess as the queen she is. Love you babygirl, Jay,” it read. Shaking my head, I got lost in my thoughts. We had just graduated, and Jensen was so excited to try and land a role of some kind. He’d asked me to move with him, that we could live together while he would work and I’d go to school. I couldn’t go with him, I’d just found out about dad’s health, so we tried to make it work. School would have to wait, but at least I had someone who cared about me. Until one of my letters was returned to me, and then the next. By the time the third letter was returned, I knew that was it. He was tired of me, tired of having to wait on someone who would probably never be able to move out there like they promised. He’d given up, and I couldn’t blame him. He never sent a final letter, no final words to at least tell me we were over.

With the tears falling freely now, I put the album by the rest of his items on the shelf. My eyes drifted to the senior yearbook on the shelf. That was the year Jensen and I were voted most likely to be high school sweethearts. A bitter laugh made its way out of my chest. Out of instinct, I reached for the chain around my neck. I felt the promise ring he’d given to me half way through senior year. I shook my head, frustrated with myself. 

There was never time for me to find someone else. I had to help while dad was sick, take care of mom until she passed, and go back to school all while keeping a job and paying bills. We were over in the blink of an eye, but there was never the official we’re over moment. He’d given up on me, and I couldn’t say I blamed him.

“I hope everything worked out for you, at least,” I whispered as I put his jersey away. “I hope you got the life I always knew you deserved.”


	6. Starting the Job

The final days before arriving on set were quiet. Nothing happened except for finally finding a car and returning the rental. Pulling into a spot, I got out of my car and walked to Eric’s trailer yet again. I heard faint voices coming from inside as I knocked on his door. 

“Hold on,” I hear Eric tell whoever it is he was talking with. “(Y/N), come in.”

“Hey, sorry I’m a little early. I’m still figuring out how traffic is here,” I respond.

“It’s no problem. I would be early on my first day, too.”

“I never did ask, who am I being the assistant of?”

“Well, he’s in here actually,” Eric motioned behind me. “(Y/N), this is--”

“Jensen?” I ask incredulously, seeing him on the couch that was behind me.

My eyes instantly began to water, seeing him after all these years. He looked as shocked as I felt. I hastily looked down, unable to shake the feeling of hurt and betrayal. I didn’t know if I could do this job after all, but I had no other choice. I’d signed a contract, and moved to get away from his ghost. 

“So, you’re a fan after all?” Eric asked, seemingly amused. 

“We actually know each other,” Jensen said before I could answer.

“Well then, since you two are already acquainted, here are some things you’ll need for the job,” Eric handed me an identification card and some papers on a clipboard. “If anything else comes up, I’m sure anyone will be more than glad to help and I’m here as well. Glad to have you as part of the crew, (Y/N).”

“Thank you,” I say, taking the things he hands me. 

I turn to walk out the door, brushing past Jensen on the way. I hear his steps coming after me, causing me to walk faster. Tears threatening to fall, I try my best to calm down. I round a corner only to sink to my knees. I can only feel my panic rising as my breath comes out in gasps.

“Woah, are you okay?” Someone asks near me. “Can you open your eyes for me?” 

I open my eyes to see the tall man who gave me directions the last time I was here. He was knelt next to me with a look of concern. 

“Hey, it’s okay. Just focus on me. Try to slow your breathing, alright?”

I can only manage a nod. I try to take a deep breath, focusing on the rise and fall of his chest. I try to match my breathing to his.

“I’m Jared,” he says. “Can you tell me your name?”

“(Y/N)?” Jensen calls as he rounds the corner. 

I flinch at his voice. I feel my breathing quicken again. The panic I was trying to get under control doubles. 

“Jensen, hold up,” Jared tells him. “Can I move your hand, (Y/N)?”

I weakly nod. He takes my hand and rests it on his chest.

“Match my breathing. Slow, deep breaths. It’s going to be okay. Can you tell me what’s wrong?”

“Thank you ,” I manage to get out. “It’s a panic attack. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. This happens to everyone. Can you tell me what caused the panic attack?”

“I did,” Jensen says. “I caused her panic attack.”

I look over at him. He has his shoulders slumped, and his head hung low. Jared gave me a small nod, and stood up. He walked over to Jensen and placed a hand on his shoulder. Jensen seemed to cave in on himself even more, nodded his head, and walked away. Jared walked back towards me. 

“Do you think you can stand?” he asked, offering me his hand.

“Yeah,” I take his hand and get up. “I’m sorry, again. I didn’t mean to cause any issues.”

“There isn’t an issue. C’mon Jensen and I don’t have to film for another hour. In the meantime, do you mind explaining what that was all about? I’ve known him for ten years, and have never seen him as torn as he was just then.”

“It’s a long story…” I trail off at the look he gives me. “Okay, but is there somewhere less public we can talk? I would rather not go talking about Jensen’s private life where anyone can hear.”

“Sure, we can talk in my trailer.”

\---

“I haven’t heard from him since then. It was like he’d just disappeared from the world,” I finished the recounting of memories.

“So you and him dated in high school? Then you lost contact with him, and you still had to take care of your dad? You never got the chance to figure things out for yourself, did you?” Jared asks with a look of sympathy. 

“I never really had the chance to, no. I worked to help with my dad’s medical expenses, then once he passed I kept working to help with mom’s bills while juggling college. Then, a few years later, my mom passed, too. I’d already moved to an apartment nearby, so I stayed in school and kept working. I graduated, and decided it was time for a new start. So, I applied to any job listing that seemed far enough away from Texas, and was hired here. I was told I was going to be a personal assistant to a celebrity, but never thought to ask who and was never informed until today.”

“I’m sorry. I know it doesn’t change anything, but nobody should have to go through all that alone.”

“It’s all in the past now. Right now, I think I should try to talk to Jensen. See how this is going to work, for both of us to do our jobs.”

“That’s probably a good idea. His trailer is the one to the right of this one. He should be in there, he usually is when he needs to think.”

I nod as I move towards the door. I give him a small wave goodbye, and open the door. I look at Jensen’s trailer and begin to walk over. I knock on his door. 

“Hey,” I say as he opens the door. “I’m sorry about earlier. Do you think we could talk?”

“Sure,” he steps aside, “come in.”

I walk up the few steps and am greeted by a trailer similar to Jared’s. I look at Jensen and he gestures for me to take a seat on the couch. I take a seat and am engulfed by his still-familiar scent. It gives me butterflies and a sense of unease.

“So,” he starts after a moment, “what did you want to talk about?”

“Well, I figured since we are working together now, then we should have some kind of plan to work around the past. I was told that I’m here to make your life easier. My job is to keep up with your schedule, help you with any task you ask me to, and to lighten the workload behind the scenes. Now to do all of this you will need a way to contact me, so I have written down my phone number and email address,” I pass him the paper with my contact information.

“Alright. But, (Y/N), can we talk about what happened outside? Can we try and reconcile the past? Please?”

“Not now, Jensen. And before you ask, I don’t know when, or if, we would be able to work through all of the past. After all these years, I never had a chance to figure it out for myself. Right now, however, I think it’d be best to stay solely professional.”

He pressed his lips into a line and gave a single, solemn nod in response. He understood, but didn’t approve of, the answer he was given.

“In that case,” I glance down at the schedule Eric gave me, “you’re needed to set C stage two in fifteen minutes. It also says that the scene is with Jared and Mark.”

“Okay, then I guess I, or rather,  _ we  _ should start making our way over.”

He exits the trailer first, and holds the door open for me. Taking the final step down, I motion for him to lead the way. I follow a few steps behind him, and am surprised by the fact that the silence between us isn’t uncomfortable. It takes us five minutes to reach the warehouse labeled C, and when we enter I am surprised by the scene before me. The amount of equipment there was around the set was impressive. The set itself was a bar scene with a foosball table in the, next to the bar top. 

Jensen kept walking towards some chairs, so I just followed him uncertain of what else to do. We weren’t there for long when Jared began walking over with a shorter man in a dark suit, whom I think is Mark. I took a step back to give them their space, but still be there if I had to do anything for Jensen. I felt out of place when they all began talking to one another. 

After a few minutes, Jensen was told to go on his mark along with Mark. He walked up to the foosball table, with Mark to his right. Everyone on set began to quiet down for the filming of the scene. 

“Hey,” Jared whisper shouted, “how are you doing? That was a bad panic attack earlier.”

“I’m sure I’ll be fine,” I reassured him. “It’s not my first one. I just need to focus on today, and I can deal with it later.”

“Are you sure? If you need someone, my door is always open.”

“I’m sure, but thank you.”

Suddenly there is a commotion coming from the set, so I look over. Jensen walked out of the bar to the outside of it. He just pushed a man off of a woman and punched him repeatedly against a car.

“What’s happening?” I quietly ask Jared. 

“Well it’s a bar fight. We’re picking up from season nine when Dean disappeared from the Bunker with Crowley,” He explains. 

“Which means what exactly?”

“Well Jensen is fighting outside the bar after disappearing with Mark last season,” he says gesturing to each one as he speaks. “Haven’t you seen the show?”

“No, none of it. I guess I’ll just have to try and catch up on what’s happening,” I trail off as I see Jensen walk away from the man he was fighting. 

“You applied for a job you knew nothing about?” He asked in disbelief.

“No, I applied for a job I didn’t even know I was applying to,” I retorted. “I was trying to get away from Texas.”

The scene was being reset to shoot again. Jared didn’t say anything the next take, so we just watched the scene before us. I noticed Jared glance at me occasionally during the take, but stayed focused on the scene. 

\---

The end of the day finally arrived. Excluding the morning, today wasn’t so bad. I was walking back to my car when I saw Jensen walking towards me. Not ready to talk to him, I continue to my car.

“Y/N, wait. Please, just for a minute,” Jensen called out to me. 

“What,” I begin as I reach my car, “do you need?”

“I just wanted to talk. I know you said that you didn’t want to earlier, but I need to. I’m sorry, Y/N. I truly am. I thought we’d grown apart back then, and then I stopped getting your letters, so I thought we were done. Then, seeing you this morning, I couldn’t believe it was you. Then, when your panic attack started, I felt horrible. To know I was the cause of it...all I can do is say I’m sorry. For everything,” he turned away as he finished speaking. 

“I forgave you a long time ago,” I murmured as he walked away. 

Shaking my head, I enter my car ready to go home.

**\---**

**A quick author’s note before you go. Sorry I didn’t upload last week. I wasn’t happy with how the chapter you just read was, so I had to redo it for my own sanity. Sorry, but the original was just too bad for the public to witness. But thank you for reading this story anyways. I hope you enjoy what has been and what will come of it.**


	7. Conversations

It was a long and tense first day of work. I certainly did not expect to see Jensen again after all these years. His apology as we were leaving work kept running through my head. He sounded so tortured by guilt. All I wanted to do was hug him, but I couldn’t. I forgive him for what happened all those years ago, but in that time he would’ve changed. Neither of us are nineteen anymore. But he said  _ he  _ stopped getting  _ my  _ letters. What was that supposed to mean, because my letter was returned to me. I stopped receiving letters from him and figured he didn’t want me anymore. 

_ I should talk to him about what happened,  _ I think to myself.  _ But how? I told him I wasn’t ready to talk...maybe I should wait. It didn’t seem like he expected me either. I just hope I didn’t mess things up for us more. _

Wanting to get everything ready for work tomorrow, I wandered over to my closet. I chose a pair of jeans, a burgundy top, and some tennis shoes. I also grabbed my backpack to use while at work as well. I put my identification badge on it, my wallet, and my keys inside of it as well. I grabbed the paperwork from today and my laptop. 

I began to incorporate Jensen’s schedule into a spreadsheet instead of the scrawls that I was working off of today. Tomorrow seemed to be less busy for him, but his call time was very early. I wasn’t sure if I was missing part of his schedule, or if every day varied in length. Sighing, I closed my laptop, put it in my backpack with everything else, and got ready to sleep. I went to grab my phone and charge it, but I couldn’t find it anywhere. 

_ I must have forgotten it at work,  _ I finally realized.  _ I guess I’ll just have to look for it when I get there. _

\---

I woke up at three in the morning. Unable to go back to sleep, I just got ready for the day. I didn’t have to be at set until five, so I had quite some time. Once I was done getting dressed and putting on my makeup, I decided to just put my hair in a ponytail. I still had an hour until I needed to be at work.

“Coffee doesn’t sound like a bad idea,” I thought aloud as I grabbed my bag. “I can also pick some up for Jensen, and I can try and reconcile for yesterday.”

I looked outside and saw more frost on the window. In a rush, I went to my closet and grabbed the first warm item I saw and left my apartment. I put my things in the passenger seat and began to drive. When I ordered my coffee, I wasn’t sure how Jensen drank his. I ordered it like how he used to drink it, and hoped that was going to be alright. 

\---

When I got to set I made my way over to Jensen’s trailer. There was still fifteen minutes until he needed to be here, so I entered his trailer. I set his coffee on the counter and found a notepad. 

_ You need to be at the hair and makeup trailer for five. From there you need to be at set A, then you have a break until seven. I will meet you there, I need to try and find my phone. Enjoy the coffee. _

I set the note under his coffee, and began to search for my phone. I walked all around from Eric’s trailer, to where I was having my panic attack, the catering tent, and towards my car. I still couldn’t find my phone, so I gave up. I began walking over to meet Jensen when a brisk breeze blew. I put on the hoodie I grabbed this morning and continued my walk to set. 

When I got there it seemed that everyone was waiting on the stage to be reset. Jensen and Mark were talking, and so was Jared to someone. Jared glanced over towards me and waved me over. Hesitantly, I began to approach them. 

“Hey, (Y/N), how are you?” Jared greeted me.

“I’m alright, just trying to find my phone. What about you guys?” I asked, glancing at the dark haired man beside Jared. 

“I’m good. Also, (Y/N), this is one of the other leads, Misha. Misha, this is (Y/N), Jay’s assistant.”

“Nice to meet you, (Y/N),” Misha greeted, shaking my hand.

“And that’s good! We got the coverage we needed, great work!” Someone called out. 

Jensen began to walk towards us from his marker. He joined the group and chatted with Jared and Misha. Something seemed off, like he was holding something back. I slowly walked back and removed myself from the group and waited outside. It wasn’t too long until Jensen walked out. He walked past me towards his trailer, and all I felt was hostility coming from him. Not knowing what else to do, I followed him.

\---

When we reached his trailer, he finally faced me. He had such a cold look on his face, that I couldn’t help but shy back. He looked me up and down, but something in his eyes softened. 

“Hey,” he murmured, “thank you. For the coffee, and the note letting me know which set to go to.”   
  


“It was no problem,” I reassured. “Just trying to keep up with everything.” 

“But still, the coffee was nice. Did you ask Jared what to order? Because if you did, I’m surprised he gave you a serious answer.”   
  


“No, I didn’t actually know what to order you...so I ordered how you used to drink it. I just hoped that it would be okay.”

Jensen merely nodded and opened his trailer door, “Do you want to come in? We’ve got some time until I’m needed back on set.”

“Sure, but maybe in a bit. I still need to try finding my phone.”   
  


“That’s what I meant to tell you! You left it in here, and I saw it this morning. It was on the coffee table and dead, so I plugged it in. I didn’t know where you’d be looking for it, so I was going to let you know I found it when I saw you.”    
  
“Thank you,” I exclaim, and without thinking I hug him. 

“Uh, yeah. No problem.”

Feeling him tensed up I quickly remove my arms from around him. 

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking. I’ll just go,” I take a half step back.

“No, please. It’s okay, I just wasn’t expecting it. At least get your phone,” he amends while motioning inside.

\---

Once we were inside his trailer, Jensen walked towards the back. When he returned he gave me my phone. Nodding my thanks, I powered it on. 

“I’ve not seen that hoodie in years,” Jensen, out of nowhere, said.

“What?” Looking at my hoodie, I realized it was our highschool’s hoodie. “I didn’t even notice. I just grabbed it when I was leaving, and-”   
  
“Hey, why do you feel the need to explain? It’s cold out and I’m guessing that’s the warmest thing you have here.”

“I don’t know, I just figured it’d be weird since this was your hoodie. Like I said, I didn’t even notice I’d grabbed it.”

“I just didn’t expect for you to still have it is all. I don’t really have much from highschool anymore, so it’s nice to see a bit of home. To see what’s left of simpler times.”

“Yeah. Simpler times.”

Not quite ready to have an intense conversation with him yet, I looked around. His trailer was quite nice. Across from us was his TV, and under that was some movies. On the table next to the couch I saw some picture frames. There was a blanket underneath the coffee table along with some magazines atop it. 

Trying to find something to focus on, I unlocked my phone. I had a few emails, but what surprised me the most was how many twitter notifications I had. Clicking on the notification, I saw I suddenly had more followers than I did yesterday. 

“What’s going on,” I ask myself. “Why do I- oh no.”

“What? Is everything okay?” Jensen worried. 

“Everything’s okay, but this can’t be serious. I suddenly have over nine thousand twitter followers, when I know that I didn’t even have ten yesterday. How did this happen?”

“That would be our doing. When someone new joins the  _ Supernatural  _ cast or crew, we welcome them to the family on twitter. And the Supernatural Family is kind of a force to be reckoned with. But don’t worry, they’re very excited to have a new crewmate.”

“I didn’t know this show was so popular. I never even knew it existed until a few weeks ago. But this, I don’t understand. Why would they want to follow me? I’m just someone who was hired to help an actor, there’s nothing special there. People hire assistants all the time.”

“Well, you’ll soon find out that a lot of things don’t work how they’re supposed to here. Like someone applying for a job with a show they’d never even heard of,” he laughed.

“I just needed a job and wanted to move. I didn’t even look at what or where I was applying, I just applied. And calm down, I’m going to start watching it as soon as there’s a day off. And according to your schedule that’s in three more days.”

“Alright, fine. But if you want the proper experience of watching the show, just let me and Jared know. You could have the uncut commentary right from the source. It could be fun, too. Make a weekend of it, then all back come to work.”

“I don’t know. I’d at least have to watch some of it before I could answer that.”   
  
“Come on, it would be fun. And seeing someone’s first reaction to it is the best. We could all crash at my apartment or Jared’s and just binge it. What do you say?”

“Alright fine. But, only if Jared agrees to this as well. With how you spoke of the uncut commentary, I don’t think it’d have its full effect without him.”

“Then it’s a deal. It’ll be kind of like old times. Hanging out watching TV and having fun.”   
  
“Sure, old times.”

“Jensen! It’s time for our next scene!” Jared called through the door.

“Alright we’ll be right there,” he called back. “Don’t forget your phone.”

Laughing, I walked with Jensen to where they were shooting this time. Maybe things would work out. It didn’t seem as bad as I thought it would be working with him. Right before we walked onto the staging area, I grabbed Jensen’s arm and stopped us.

“Before we head in I want to let you know something. I know we still need to talk about what happened all those years ago, and now isn’t the time to. But what you told me yesterday, I wanted to let you know,” I stared into his eyes,”that I forgave you a long time ago. And that I only ever wished for you to have gotten the great life you deserved.”

“(Y/N),” Jensen looked like he was holding something back. “Thank you. That means a lot.”

Staring into his eyes I saw sorrow deep in them. Knowing it wasn’t right for me to ask him about it, I gave him a slight smile.

“Let’s get in so we can finish the week. Then you, me, and Jared are going to binge watch the show so I can know what’s happening during filming,” I nudge him through the door.

“Sounds like a plan to me,” he smiled back, but it still didn’t reach his eyes.


	8. Ready to Go?

“Don’t forget that Jensen and I are gonna pick you up for the marathon at eight,” Jared reminded me as we walked to our cars.

“That’s right, I knew I was forgetting something,” I yawned. “I need to send Jensen my address. Could you ask him to text me since I don’t have him as a contact?”

“Sure, no problem (Y/N). See you later.”

I waved goodbye as I began the drive home.

\---

Glancing at the clock I saw I still had fifteen minutes before Jared and Jensen would get here. Not quite ready due to an unintended nap, I was rushing around my apartment. I grabbed a sweatshirt and pulled it over my head. Just as I grabbed my shoes I heard a knock at my door.

“I’m coming,” I shouted towards the door. “Just give me a moment!”

Opening the door, I saw Jared and Jensen. Something was off though, as if they had just finished arguing. Trying to gauge the situation, I stepped aside motioning for them to step in. 

“Sorry, I just need a few more minutes. Make yourselves at home,” I said walking to the couch.

“Nice place. Very welcoming,” Jared says.

“Thanks. It still feels kind of weird to me.”

“Weird or new?” Jensen asks, looking around the living room. 

“Both,” I pause. “Having some stuff from Texas helps. The fond memories help make it feel like home.” I look at Jensen, “I’m just glad that the good there is here, too.”

I walk to my room to grab my backpack. Before I get back I hear Jared and Jensen quietly talking.

“I don’t know what to do,” Jensen rushes.

“She’s not mad at you. At least not anymore if she ever was,” Jared reassures.

“After everything, I don’t know. I’m not even entirely sure what happened to be honest. I’m glad she’s here, but what if she isn’t? She could just be here because she signed for a season.”

“Jay, calm down. If she didn’t want to be here she would’ve left. And if she couldn’t then she wouldn’t agree to hang out. I really do think you two should talk though, figure things out. See what happens.”

Suddenly feeling intrusive, I walk out of the hallway. 

“I meant to ask, am I supposed to bring one or two clothes changes? I know you said it’d be a marathon, but I don’t know,” I ask, trying to disperse the tension. 

“I say bring whatever. We can just all go to work together on Monday,” Jared suggests.

“But, only if you’re okay crashing at my place for the weekend,” Jensen assures. “You’re welcome to.”

“Yeah, that’s fine. Just let me grab some extra clothes, then we can go,” I say walking back out.

\---Jensen’s POV---

“See, man, if she had an issue with you she wouldn’t be okay crashing or hanging out,” Jared boasted.

“Still, it’s just- I don’t know where we stand with each other,” I worried. “(Y/N) seems okay, but-”

“But you need to talk to her. Not about everything, but at least some of it. We can order Chinese or something, and I can offer to go get it. While I’m gone, start to work things out. Talk.”

Knowing he had a point, I gave up arguing. I looked around the living room. She had a few pictures about the room. Walking over to the frames I saw her parent’s wedding picture, a graduation photo, and a map of Austin. Just seeing home made my chest ache. After everything, I wasn’t sure if I could ever go back there.

“Ready to go?” Jared asked (Y/N).

She looked at me as if asking if I was ready to leave. I gave her a slight smile, hoping to reassure any kind of worry she may be having. 

“I think so,” she turned to Jared. “After you, I got to lock it.” 

Holding the door open, Jared and I walked out. I couldn’t help but notice (Y/N) double checking the locks. _Still worried about someone being where they shouldn’t,_ I thought fondly. _Some things haven’t changed,_ I reminded myself. 

“Clif is driving us there, by the way,” I told (Y/N).

She just nodded, looking lost in her thoughts.

**\---**

**Author’s note**

**First, sorry the upload is two days late. I was really debating if I should do the point of view swap or not. So please let me know if you’re okay with it, because I have some ideas involving it, but want the reading experience to flow well. I really am leaning to the occasional POV swap, so it won’t be an all the time thing, so it’s more of a change of pace if you will. Thanks for understanding!**

**I know it’s a short update, but that’s because I’m testing the POV change. It’s also kind of a mild filler/ plot patch for the future.**


	9. The Weekend pt.1

“Make yourself at home,” Jensen said, opening his apartment door. “If you need anything let me know.”

“Thank you,” I said looking around. 

Jensen’s apartment was very warm and open. His living room was differing shades of warm brown, the coffee table was glass, and there were two large couches. Jared made his way to what I assume was the kitchen, because he emerged holding beer. Jensen made his way to the couch across from the television as I set my bag by the door. 

“Hurry up,” Jared whined, “I want to make fun of us,” he finished as he laid on the other couch. 

“Is it weird?” I ask them sitting on the couch Jensen chose.

“Not anymore,” Jensen responded. “At first I was kind of creeped out. I was so anxious when I was acting, and I’m still camera shy. I’ve gotten used to getting into the character’s mind that it doesn’t quite feel like me.”

“It’s weird if I think of it as me and not my character, but I am my character. Does that make sense?” Jared also answered.

“I understand what you mean. It makes sense why it’d be weird to watch yourself,” I said. “If you guys don’t want to watch  _ Supernatural  _ then we don’t have to.”

“I vote we watch it,” Jensen said, selecting it from Netflix. “Plus, this way you can actually understand what's going on during filming.”

“We’re watching it no matter what,” Jared agrees. 

Jensen turned the light off and settled back into his seat before playing the first episode. Watching Sam and Dean was interesting. I could see aspects of Jensen and Jared shining through in their characters. Once we were half way through the episode I understood why the show was as popular as it is.

\---

“Dude, you were so timid to fight me,” Jensen said after the episode finished. “It was choreographed to be easy to film but you just seemed to flail.”

“When one of the first times filming with someone is a fight scene, it’s not uncommon to panic,” Jared defended.

“But still, you made me think you didn’t know what was going on. I thought you were actually going to punch me.”

“You seemed eager to punch me! You almost did a few times!”

“How long did the two of you take to get comfortable filming those scenes together?” I asked, wanting their bickering to stop. 

“We got used to fights together before the third episode, I guess,” Jared answered. “I think that was the time we were about to get mugged? Jensen roundhouse kicked one of the guys in the face.”

“Yeah that was the time,” Jensen casually confirmed while rooting through the kitchen.

“You two were mugged? And when you say ‘was the time’, you mean there have been many fights with you two in them?” I incredulously asked.

“A few yeah,” Jared said like it was common. “But not for awhile. It was more in the earlier seasons we had some issues.”

Jensen walked in holding a piece of paper.

“I don’t really have anything to eat, so we’re ordering something. Unless you guys want to eat someplace?” He said glancing at the paper.

“Ordering’s fine,” Jared said and I nod in agreement. “Do that Chinese place near here. I can go pick it up while you two keep watching the show.”

“Sounds like a plan. Just let me know what you two want and I’ll call in the order,” Jensen grabbed his phone.

\---Jensen’s POV---

“It’ll be ready in twenty minutes,” I told Jared. 

“Cool, I’ll start heading over there. Be back in awhile,” he gave me a look.

“Be careful,” (Y/N) said as he closed the door.

“Onto the next episode?” I offered, not sure how to approach what we needed to talk about.

“Could we wait? I know Jared said to go on while he was gone, but he’s part of the night. I don’t want to leave him out,” she fretted. 

“Yeah, you’re right,” I sat next to her again, “but what do you want to do then? Jared’s going to be roughly an hour from returning.”

(Y/N) cast her gaze down and began to mess with a necklace through her shirt. I could tell something was eating away at her. The rise and fall of her chest began to speed up.

“Hey,” I took her hand, “focus for me. Deep breaths, okay? There’s nothing to worry about.”

“It’s just…” She began but shook her head.

“Just what? (Y/N), c’mon, you can still tell me anything. I hope you know that.”

“You’re here. That realization is just now settling in. After everything that’s happened,  _ you’re here. _ ”

“I know what you mean. I was shocked when you first walked through the door, that you were my assistant.”

She gave my hand a squeeze, “I’m sorry for how I reacted then. It was wrong of me, to not work the past out. I was so caught up in what had happened that I didn’t even consider how you must have been reacting.”

“You took it better than I did. I wouldn’t have blamed you for rejecting the job then and there. But I still think we need to talk about what happened between us.”

“I agree, things definitely took a turn at the end. I know I was occupied by my dad’s health, but when my letters were returned unopened it broke me. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you like we planned for then.”

“You still sent the letters? They’d just st-” I cut myself off, realization striking through me. “Damn it! (Y/N), I’d stopped getting letters from you. I was heartbroken, and though the distance was too much of a strain like we worried it would be. But around the time the letters stopped, I had just moved for a shoot. Not a big role, but enough to have a different apartment. I sent you a change of address, but never heard from you again.”

“I still wrote to you weekly,” her voice strained. “When the first letter was returned, I put it out with the next in case it was just an accidental return. But when the third letter was returned, I thought you were just done. Giving as clean a break as you could with the distance, not wanting to wait for me.”

I gently removed my hand from hers and carefully wiped the tears that began to fall. 

“I think we still have some stuff to work through, but this is a start,” I assured her.

“It was hard without you,” she whispered.

“I know exactly what you mean. But (Y/N), I promise that I will do everything I can to regain your trust. If you’ll let me. I want to be your friend again.”

She nodded putting her hands over mine and removed them from her face. It hurt me to only be her friend right now, but after what we’ve both been through we needed a fresh start. To work out the past and see what that meant for the present. All I knew was that I couldn’t let her slip away again.

Trying to hide the pain I was experiencing, I pulled us both from the couch. Jared would be back soon, and I could tell (Y/N) needed some cheering up as well.

“I need your help with something,” I announced dragging her to the kitchen. “How good is your aim?”

“Why?” She questioned me.

“Because,” I pulled out two pie tins and some whipped cream, “it shouldn’t be too much longer until Jared’s back. And someone needs to grab the Chinese food from him, and I’m willing to bet I’m quicker than you.”

Seeing the glint in her eyes return, I immediately knew she would help. I explained the plan to her as I filled the two tins. Handing one over to her, I felt some of the weight leave my chest for the first time since I got back to Vancouver. 

“I’m back,” Jared called out.

Nodding to (Y/N) I took the food from Jared as I shoved the pie in his face. 

“Dude, what the hell?” Jared wiped the cream from his face. 

Just as he was about to throw whipped cream at me, the second pie flew through the air nailing him in the face yet again. The laughter that erupted from (Y/N) was the best thing I’d heard in years.

“Looks like we’ll be having another prankster on set,” I told Jared as I high-fived (Y/N).

  
_ Maybe things would work out after all,  _ I thought.  _ Maybe some good finally did come out of signing the divorce papers. _


	10. The Weekend pt.2

“Are you sure it was a good idea to pie Jared?” I asked while cleaning the cream that went everywhere.

“He’ll be fine, he’s in the shower right now. Now move over, you don’t need to clean the mess,” Jensen kneeled down next to me.

“I want to help. I’m also pretty sure the mess was my fault more than yours anyways.”

“You did get him pretty good though,” he laughed.

“I just don’t think it was a good idea. He didn’t deserve me pieing him, he’s been nice to me. Why’d I pie him?”

“Because you knew it would be fine, and I could take a joke,” Jared said walking out from the bathroom. “It was really funny. I seriously did not expect for that to happen.”

“I’m sorry,” I told him.

“Don’t be. You haven’t seen some of the things Jensen and I have done on set yet. Believe me when getting pied is a regular occurrence.”

“I told you he’d be fine,” Jensen said as he got up. “It was a simple prank, an easy clean, and the food will still be warm. Now all that’s left to do is eat and continue bingeing.”

Gathering the paper towels from the floor, I threw them away. Each of us grabbed our respective takeout container and settled back into our seats. The next few episodes we watched together were enticing. I knew Jensen and Jared were commenting on what had happened during the filming, but I didn’t hear a thing they heard. Instead I was focused on the way the two of them always seemed to be so close. They played brothers, but I could see that the two of them really were like brothers. 

It wasn’t until I watched Dean use a can and flame to fight bugs that I began to feel tired. Feeling myself slowly relax, I eventually fell asleep.

\---

_ Wandering. Going through the darkness alone, trying to reach the light in the distance. The harder I try to reach it, the farther away it seems to become. Scared of what could surround me in the perpetual darkness, I frantically chased what seemed to be an impossible goal. There was something in the light, a figure even.  _

_ “(Y/N),” I heard called out. “C’mon, (Y/N).” _

“It’s okay,” I awoke to Jensen reassuring me. “Shhh. It was just a dream. I’ve got you.”

All I could feel was myself trembling and the pounding of my heart. Jensen carefully wrapped his arm across my shoulders and pulled me into his side.

“Are you okay?” He worried.

“Fine. Like you said, just a dream,” I reassured myself more than him.

“Do you want to talk about it? Maybe it could help?”

Trying to calm my still racing heart, I shook my head no, “What time is it?”

“It’s about four now. You fell asleep here at some point, and you made it impossible for me to move you to a bed. Jared took the guest room, and I was going to give you my bed and I’d crash in here. But, no, you wouldn’t budge, so I covered you.”

“Thanks,” I felt myself slowly calm down as he spoke. “If you want, you can go back to bed. I think I might be up awhile.”

Jensen just stared into my eyes for a moment. He looked so concerned, like he was going to try and fix everything. His eyes softened after a minute of searching mine.

“Did you know you talk in your sleep?” He quietly asked. 

“I do not,” I retaliated. 

“You do! That’s how I noticed when you first fell asleep! You said something about a sign at the end of a hall,” he faltered for a moment. “Then later, once Jared left, you said ‘Come back dad.’”

“It’s just-”

“You don’t need to explain if you don’t want to. Once you’d said that, I came over and talked to you. You seemed to calm down, but I wanted to make sure you were okay. So, I decided I’d crash on the other couch. You were pretty quiet until just now.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I didn’t know, and I don’t want to be a bother. Just go to your room, I’ll be okay.”

“I will, but first I’m keeping you company.”

He gave my shoulders a final squeeze then removed his arm. I grabbed the remote and turned the TV back on. He chose  _ Friends  _ and turned it down low. He leaned back into the couch and pulled me into it as well. I appreciated that he wasn’t forcing me to talk but I couldn’t help but feel like I needed to tell him some of it.

“Around a month after the thing with the letters,” I began, “my dad’s condition started to get worse. Rapidly deteriorated, is more accurate.”

“I’m so sorry, (Y/N), I had no idea,” he grabbed my hand.

“It wasn’t your fault. I had to get a few jobs to help pay for his care. I like to think it helped, but eventually the treatments just stopped working. Eventually the doctors told us we could only make him comfortable for the end. I kept working so that mom could stay with him. In the end I had to tell him goodbye over the phone. Mom fell apart from it, how couldn’t she? I kept up the work to support her. Eventually she seemed to come to terms with it, and we worked together to keep our lives going. She passed three years after dad in her sleep. The paramedics said it was the most painless way to go, but how would they know? I didn’t get a chance to tell her goodbye.”

“I’m so sorry, (Y/N). You didn’t deserve any of that. I wish there was some way to make all of it better.”

“That’s the other half of the reason I wanted to get away from Texas. I’d finally gotten through college, and all that was left for me there was painful reminders of everything I lost. Mom, dad, and you. But I am so very glad that I stumbled into you again.”

“I’m glad you’re here, too. I never thought we’d see each other again.”

I gave his hand a squeeze before releasing it. I scooted a little closer to him on the couch and we watched TV together. The sun eventually inched its way over the horizon, and as it did I fell back to sleep against Jensen. 

“Thank you, Jay,” I said before I succumbed to sleep. 

\---

As I slowly awoke I cuddled further into the warmth surrounding me. Peeling my eyes open, I saw I was no longer on the couch but in a bed. Trying to figure out how I got here from the living room, I looked at my phone to check the time. It was noon and I had a text from Jensen. 

The text read:  _ Hey, Jared and I decided to pick some stuff up to cook tonight. I carried you to my room once you’d fallen back asleep. We will be back before one, so make yourself at home. I didn’t want to wake you, so if you need anything let me know. _

Not able to think of anything, I locked my phone. Thinking back on what I’d told him last night I felt both worry and relief. Relieved that I was able to properly talk about what happened with someone, but also worried he would see me differently. I am a nobody, someone who could just be a chapter in the book of his life once again. It terrifies me to think that, because it’s slowly starting to dawn on me just how much I need him and missed him. 

  
_ It’s not your fault, _ I thought to myself.  _ Some things in life happened. Surely he’s had obstacles to overcome in life as well.  _


	11. Sleepy Thoughts

Once I heard Jared and Jensen entering the apartment, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to get up. I didn’t want to see the pity in Jensen’s eyes, and I was sure he probably told Jared about what happened. Not ready to confront the results of opening up, I buried myself into the covers. I heard footsteps approach the door, and a quiet knock followed by the door opening.

“(Y/N)? Are you awake?” Jensen whispered.

“Unfortunately,” I covered my head with the blanket. “I’m sorry about last night. I don’t know why I suddenly decided to be a bother.”

“You weren’t a bother,” I felt the bed dip down by me, “I’m glad you opened up to me some. That maybe even after all that has happened, there’s a chance that you’d be open to being friends again.”

“I shouldn’t have dumped all of that on you though,” I peeked my head out.

“I’m glad you told me, (Y/N). Correct me if I’m wrong, but it seemed like you never had anyone you could go to while everything was happening. You’ve had to keep it all bottled up for so long.”

Finally meeting his eyes, I was surprised to see no pity in them but something close to admiration.

“Did you tell Jared about anything that happened?” I rushed out.

“As far as Jared knows I was finally successful in carrying you into here so you could sleep better. I didn’t mention anything that we talked about, though,” he assured me.

“Thank you,” I took his hand.

“For what?”

“For being there, for listening, and especially for not looking at me differently. Like I was just some fragile and damaged thing that needed to be avoided.”

“(Y/N), there is nothing weak about you. There never was. Some people would let what you’ve had to go through destroy them. But you? You’re aware that things are different, and that things were hard. But if that knocked you down at all, when you got back up you stood even taller than before. You became stronger than you were before, which I wouldn’t think to be possible. But here you are. You reached the goals you fought so hard to achieve, and I’m just sorry that you had to do it all alone.”

Lost for words at what he said, I sat up and pulled him into a hug. He was tense at first, but he slowly relaxed. I buried my face into the crook of his neck, but the way he clung on to me made me think he needed this hug more than I did. It was the most at peace I’ve felt in years. For once I didn’t feel alone.

“Please know that I will always be here for you, Jensen,” I told him as he pulled me closer.

“Only if you know I will never let you be alone like that again,” he promised me. “We should probably go into the main part of the apartment. Otherwise I think Jared will have either eaten everything or broken something,” he joked, hesitantly pulling away.

\---

After helping the boys cook, we all settled down to watch more  _ Supernatural.  _ Not sure what I saw last, we just continued from where it was shut off last night. I wasn’t very engrossed in the episode, only catching bits of it. The only things that really caught my attention was the fight between Sam and Dean, then Dean calling a scarecrow fugly. With the episode continuing on, I checked my phone. 

I had an upcoming reminder for Jensen’s calendar, saying he needed to call Danneel. I figured when the night came to an end I would let him know. Scrolling through Twitter, I was shocked by how welcoming the fans seemed to be towards me. I chuckled as I saw some people speculating more things to come from Jensen since he now had someone as a personal assistant. There was a lot of speculation happening because of the fact that Jensen just needed an extra bit of help in his life, just like anyone else does.

“I still don’t understand how she could drink that!” Jared said between retching noises.

“But she isn’t drinking anything?” I asked while looking at the screen, seeing a woman talking into a cup of bubbling red liquid. 

“In one of the other takes for this scene, she had to drink the fake blood. After three takes, the scene changed to her swirling it,” Jensen explained.

“Then why is Jared so grossed out? Isn’t it just red water the props department uses?”

“No, because water moves too quickly for the camera and is too liquidy to be realistic. It’s corn syrup and red food dye. Since it’s edible, she drank it like three times at first. Sure it wasn’t a lot but still gross.”

The thought of having to drink corn syrup had my stomach uneasy, “Maybe that’s enough for now. After that thought I don’t think I’d be able to stomach whatever’s next.”

“I agree,” Jared gagged out. “Put a movie on or something. We still have a few hours before we  _ have  _ to sleep for work.”

\---Jensen’s POV---

Tossing Jared the remote I scooted a little closer to (Y/N) to watch the whatever movie was chosen. Once Jared settled on  _ The Giver _ we all settled down for the night. (Y/N) very quickly became entranced by the movie, and I couldn’t help glancing at her. She had her knees pulled to her chest and her head resting against them, focused on the young boy talking to his friends behind a waterfall. The fact that she was barely three feet away from me was driving me crazy. It was almost surreal, having her in my life again after what happened with us and our lives.

I’d never met anyone else quite like (Y/N). Nobody had the same effect on me like she did. When she disappeared from my life, I was destroyed. I didn’t understand what happened, it had been like she became a ghost. But to now know what she had to go through in life, it hurt me that she was alone. When she left my life I didn’t know how to move on. All I could do was throw myself into acting. I eventually met Danneel, and we dated for publicity. She was more invested in us than I could reciprocate. She was a great woman, but she didn’t do to me what (Y/N) could. I continued to date her because of how happy she seemed, so it was inevitable that we got married. 

Our marriage finally reached the point where I wasn’t home enough, and she was home with JJ while I worked. The spark she felt had been gone for awhile, but we had to worry about what would happen if we did divorce. Eventually, we decided that instead of both of us being unhappy we should get the divorce, and split custody of JJ. Having signed the papers just a few weeks before this season’s filming began, the news hasn’t reached the general public yet. The only ones who knew were Jared and Misha. With all that would be happening this year on top of handling the divorce, I decided it would be better for me to have an assistant. I asked for the producers to get an assistant for me that would not be a fan but rather someone who would treat me like a person.

The shock I felt when (Y/N) walked through the door was like I was awakening from a slumber. The fact that she was back in my life was a beacon of hope from what happened with the divorce. I couldn’t help but hope she applied for the position so that we could be apart of each other’s lives again. The shock and panic that she expressed hurt. The knowledge that my presence was enough for her to have literally run away from me caused nothing but pain and guilt to erupt inside me. The fact Jared was the one to calm her down after I needed to leave made me want to cry.

A weight landing on my side pulled me from my thinking. (Y/N) fell asleep and was now leaning against me. Her head rested in my lap and her body nestled against my side. She looked so at peace, like nothing bad ever happened to her.

“Hey, Jared,” I quietly called out. “Could you do me a favor and grab the extra blanket from my room? I don’t want to wake her up.”

“No problem,” he said, getting up.

“Jensen,” (Y/N) mumbled. 

“Shh, you’re fine. Just sleep,” I brushed her hair from her face.

“I’m sorry...please...stay.” 

I stared at her in shock. She wanted me to stay. But why was she sorry?

“What’s she saying?” Jared asked while putting the blanket over her for me.

“She’s just sleep talking,” I brushed his question off. “Listen, if you want to finish the movie you are welcome to put it on in your room. I think she’s staying in here tonight and I don’t want to bother her.”

“A sleep talker. Think she’ll say anything interesting?” Jared prodded.

“It’s probably something going on in a dream. At least it isn’t a nightmare this time.”

He nodded and turned off the TV before heading to the guest room. The quiet of the room settled in and all I could do was think of what she said. She was in a deep sleep and slumped up against me while apologizing for something. Did she actually want me to stay with her, or was she asking a dream version of me to stay? Why would she think I would leave her again? She shifted a little, snuggling into my side some more. 

“Okay,” I reassured. “I’ll stay. You’ve convinced me, so move over.”

I carefully lifted (Y/N) up some and stretched out on the couch below her. I set her on top of me and made sure the blanket covered us. I wrapped one arm around her waist and lightly traced patterns onto her back with the other. Seeing an opportunity to tell her what was going through my head, I spoke what I truly felt for once. I held nothing back.

“I’m glad our paths crossed again,” I told her. “I’ve missed you so much. I don’t want to mess this up, because I can’t lose you again. I’m terrified of what could happen if I tell you this, so here’s some practice. I knew you were the one for me as soon as I entered the wrong class and saw you. I will forever try to make up the years we’ve lost to you. But first, I know I need to become your friend again. I’m trying to do that, but I don’t know how well that’s going. If you’re just being polite and humoring me, or if you want me in your life for good...but it wouldn’t be just me entering your life. I have a daughter now and an ex-wife that is still going to be part of my life. I don’t even know how to tell you that I married someone, let alone have a kid. The public doesn’t even know yet, only Misha and Jared. I have to wear a meaningless ring out in public that ties me to a life I’m no longer living, just in case there’s paparazzi somewhere. I just want to feel happy again.”

Holding back the tears in my eyes, I hold onto (Y/N) a bit tighter. She cuddled into me and I slowly began to relax with her soundly asleep on top of me. Holding onto each other I faded into my first calm slumber in weeks. 

**\---**

**Author’s note:**

**Hello, I didn’t post last week due to Christmas festivities. Just wanted to say I hoped that whatever you celebrate was an enjoyable time and Happy New Year! Holiday season is done now. Thank you all for reading this and have a nice day!**


	12. The Shoe Drops

\---Jensen’s POV---

I heard my alarm first, then felt the weight holding me in place. I tried to move again only to feel something bury itself into my chest more. Turning the alarm off I look up and see (Y/N) asleep on me still. Feeling my chest tighten some at what I said last night, I took her in. Her hair covering her face, lips slightly parted while her soft breaths escaped her mouth. Knowing we had to leave for work in a few hours I begrudgingly shook her softly.

“(Y/N), it’s time to wake up,” I said. “We need to get up. Work starts in two hours, come on.”

“Why?” She groaned.

“Because it does. Now move so I can get up.”

“I’m sorry,” she tensed, “I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.”

“It’s okay, I didn’t mind. You seemed comfy and I didn’t want to wake you.”

She moved off of me and sat on the other end of the couch. I sat up and stretched before going to make coffee. Jared would be awake in an hour. Starting the coffee pot I looked towards where (Y/N) sat on the couch. She seemed upset by something.

“So what’s on the agenda today?” Grabbing two mugs, I asked her.

“There are some reshoots and coverage needing to be done today. You’re constantly filming until three, then you have a break until six. I meant to mention this last night, but you also need to call Danneel today around four.”

“Okay,” I felt a knot of dread settle into my stomach, “before the call, could I meet with you? In my trailer as soon as my break starts?”

“Sure, that’s no problem. Is there anything else you need?”

“That’ll do, thanks,” I handed her a coffee mug. “You might want to get ready soon. Jared usually takes forever getting ready, so you can use my bathroom.”

“Thank you.”

I watched as she got up and walked towards my room. My phone buzzed from the table and I groaned as I reached for it. It was a text from Jared of a video, and upon opening it I saw it was from my talk to (Y/N) last night.  _ Sorry, didn’t mean to intrude last night, I just thought that what you said was something you’d like to remember,  _ Jared sent with the video. Playing some of the video, I was again amazed by how beautiful (Y/N) looked in my arms, and how content I looked with her. I took a screenshot and downloaded the video. I set the screenshot of us as (Y/N)’s contact photo. I smiled at the little glimpse of happiness she has sparked in me. 

“Morning,” Jared shuffled in. “How’s it going?”

“I’m good. (Y/N)’s getting ready in my bathroom right now getting ready. I thought you’d be asleep another hour, what’s up?” I asked. 

“I wanted to see how you were doing. From what you said last night, what are you going to tell (Y/N)? She needs to know about Danneel and the divorce.”

“I don’t know,” I wiped my face, “she deserves to know. Especially since everything that’s happened between us. She told me some stuff that happened, and that she wants to be here for me. I don’t want to squander what little friendship is resurfacing between the two of us.”

“I know man,” Jared clasped my shoulder, “she still means a lot to you. She always has from what I understand. And if she wants to be there for you now, then she’ll be there for when you tell her about what’s happened. That you did what you thought was right, and by doing that you’ve hurt yourself. Since you’ve been around (Y/N) you’ve seemed happier. She probably doesn’t realize the impact she’s had on you, but I’m glad she’s back in your life.”

“I’m glad she’s back too,” I smiled into my coffee.

\---

“Alright, that’s all the reshoots we need for now!” The director called out.

I checked my phone, seeing it was three fifteen.  _ Dammit, I’m late _ , I thought to myself. I hurried to my trailer to talk with (Y/N) before calling Danneel. As soon as I got to the door I felt myself freeze up.  _ What should I say?  _ I worried.  _ What will she think? What if she decides it’s better not to be here after all?  _ Taking a deep breath to steady myself, I opened the door to see (Y/N) on my couch with her laptop. 

“Hey,” I said, “sorry I’m late. The reshoots took a little longer than expected.”

“It’s no problem,” she glanced up at me. “What did you want to talk with me about?”

“There are some things you should know,” I began. “When you were gone from my life, I buried myself into acting. I was hurting and didn’t know how to handle it. So I never did. I pushed back the pain and worked, I didn’t really get close to anyone. I had a job working on  _ Then Inch Hero _ , where I met Danneel. She and I carpooled to set. She eventually said she liked me, and my agent at the time found out. They said it’d be good publicity if we dated. I felt bad for doing it because I didn’t like her romantically. WIthout thinking, I asked her out, and we dated for a few years. Eventually, I proposed to her. I didn’t know what else to do, I made her happy and she loved me. In twenty-ten, we got married. From the marriage we had a little girl, JJ, in twenty-thirteen. But, eventually, Danneel got tired of me never being home, that she was the only one raising JJ half the time. So, we agreed it would be best to file for divorse. I signed all the papers almost a month before we began filming,” I stared down at the ground as I finished speaking.

“Is that why you tensed up this morning when I mentioned Danneel?” She hesitantly asked. 

“Yeah, we haven’t spoken since we decided a few months ago to get divorced. Nobody but you, Jared, and Misha know. We need to talk to figure out when to announce the divorce, and to work out when JJ will be with who.”

“That must be stressful. Having to announce developments in your personal life like this. Is there anything I can do?”

I shook my head. (Y/N) shouldn’t have to deal with my personal problems. She just had to be aware of some of them for work. 

“Hey,” she softly spoke from in front of me. “It’ll be okay.”

“Why do you say that?” I looked into her eyes.

“Because, I can tell you’re stressed over this. Between you and Daneel, you both agreed diorce was the right choice. In the end you both decided that was needed. As far as things go for your little girl, you two are going to have to work out a schedule since I’m sure you’ll be sharing custody. No matter what the two of you are still going to be in each other’s lives, and it’s going to be weird at first. But it’ll become a new routine soon enough. When it comes to you having to announce the divorce to the public, just know that in the end it’s what you needed to do. The fans will understand, and if they don’t then they aren’t actually your fans. In the end it just needs to be what you needed to happen.”

“You’re right, thank you.”

“Your call is coming up,” placing her hand on my shoulder, she gave me a soft smile, “I’ll give you some alone time. I’m going to grab some food, I’ll be back in thirty minutes.”

“Alright, I’ll see you then,” I grabbed my phone.

\---(Y/N)’s POV---

I closed the door to Jensen’s trailer and let out a deep breath. I walked to the catering tent thinking over what Jensen just told me. Not really paying attention I grabbed some food and sat at an empty table. Not sure how to feel I sat in a stunned silence. Jensen was married out of convenience for his career, and he had a daughter to worry about during a divorce. I could see how tense he was while worrying about what would happen, and he was trying to figure out what to do for his daughter. 

“How’s it going?” Someone sat across from me.

“Huh,” I looked up to see Jared. “Oh, sorry. What’s up?”

“Nothing, just saw you sat here and figured I’d join you. What’s got you overthinking?”

“Just some stuff with Jensen. We had a meeting before I came here.”

“So I take it he told you. What do you think?”

“Overall, that he doesn’t deserve the stress it’s causing him. The individual details have me a little shocked. I can tell he’s worried about what the public will think, and how he’ll take care of his daughter.”

Jared nodded, “You’re right that he’s stressed. He wants to figure out a way to be there for JJ all the time, but he doesn’t know how he’ll do it. It’ll be harder than ever for him to go down to Texas. But knowing him, he’ll find a way.”

“I just want him to not be so worried. It seems like he’s always waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for something else to somehow go wrong.”

“He’s always been like that. But he’s seemed a little calmer since you’ve been his assistant. Like maybe he’s realizing things aren’t as bad as he’s made them out to be in his head.”

I gave a small smile. Maybe my breakdown the other day didn’t destroy things between us again. Maybe he didn’t just tell me everything that happened to him because of work. Could he want to be friends?

“But,” Jared’s tone became more serious, “don’t do something to hurt him more. I don’t know everything that’s happened between you two, but I do know that he’s been hurting for a long time because of what did. If you hurt him, I will make sure you are no longer his assistant.”

“But I don’t-,” I started.

“I know you don’t plan on hurting him again. But you didn’t plan on hurting him the first time, either. I want things to be good between you two, and I’m glad you’re around. But Jensen’s like my brother, and I don’t want him getting hurt again. All I’m doing is letting you know I’m still looking out for him.”

“Okay,” Jared moved to leave. “Is it my turn to speak?”

“Go ahead,” he sat back down and smiled.

“You’re right, I don’t have any intentions to hurt him, and I didn’t when we were teenagers either. I want things between him and I to eventually be okay again. Right now I’m trying so hard not to disturb what slim chance I have of mending things. But right now that’s not important, because I want to say thank you. You’ve been there for him for the past ten years. You’re someone that he has been able to lean on, and let know some of the stuff that’s too much to keep bottled up. Thank you for looking out for him, and actually caring about what happens to him.”

“You’re welcome,” Jared got up and left.

I sat there eating for a few more minutes. I looked at my phone and saw I still had fifteen minutes to wait. Not knowing what else to do, I looked through Twitter. Seeing “#JensenIsSingle” trending, I got up and ran to Jensen’s trailer. I knocked frantically, waiting for a response.

“Not now,” I faintly heard Jensen call out.

“Jensen, it’s me. I saw, can I please come in?” I asked.

“Give me a second,” the door clicked and Jensen opened it.

I entered the trailer and saw that it was messier than when I left. Looking at Jensen, I saw his eyes were red and he looked as if he was going to collapse any moment. 

“Come here,” I softly said with my arms open. 

Jensen shuffled over into the hug. I carefully moved us to the couch and sat us down. Jensen buried his head into my neck, and I let him calm down some. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” I carefully asked.

“I didn’t know she was going to do that. She posted that we were divorced just before she called. She and I decided when I would see JJ, and where she would live since our house was mine, and once we worked out a few more things JJ wanted to talk. By the time our call was over, the news was trending. When I asked when we should announce our decision to divorce, she suggested a month from now. I was blindsided.”

“I’m so sorry, Jay. You don’t deserve to deal with this. Nobody does, but especially not you.”

“What am I going to do? I don’t know what to say, she pinned the whole thing on me and like it was my fault. She brought it up in the first place, and we spent so long talking it through. All of that just for her to claim I sprung the divorce on her.”

“If you’ll let me, I think I could help some. Help you through this and try to clear things up online.”

Jensen just nodded. Wanting to comfort him some, I ran my hand through his hair. I checked his schedule for the rest of today and tomorrow, seeing that in total he only had five scenes to film. 

“I’m going to take care of something, okay?” I prompted him.

“What?” He sniffled.

“Just trust me, please. You don’t need to worry anymore.”

“Alright, I trust you.”

“Pass me your phone, please, I don’t have Jared’s number.”

Jensen passed me his phone. I called Jared and waited for him to answer.

“Hey, man, what’s up? I’m between scenes, is everything okay?” Jared picked up.

“Jared, it’s (Y/N). I need you to get Jensen’s filming for today and tomorrow moved to the next day. It’s five scenes.”

“What’s wrong?” Jared asked, more concerned. 

“It’s the divorce. Danneel posted it out on twitter before she and Jensen talked. It’s trending, and what she said isn’t good. Jensen’s right next to me, I’m taking care of him. Just get the rest of today and tomorrow cleared with filming, please. Tell them he has food poisoning or something.”

“Yeah, no problem. If there’s anything else I can do before I’m done filming, let me know please. Just get my number from Jensen, and let him know I’ll take care of what I can, okay?”

“Absolutely, thank you.”

Jared hung up and I gave Jensen his phone back. He was finally calming down from the worst of the shock. I kept playing with his hair, but slightly pulled back to look at his face. His eyes weren’t red anymore, but they were a little swollen. 

“I think I should change,” he croaked out. “Dean doesn’t typically cry.”

“Okay,” I stood, “I’ll leave so you can change.”

“Don’t go,” grabbing my wrist Jensen turned me around, “I don’t want to be alone right now. I’ll go in the back and change, just please stay.”

I gave a nod and helped him up. I watched as he walked across the trailer and closed the door to what looked like a bedroom. While I waited, I began to clean up the mess. I carefully picked up some glass from around a picture frame. Throwing it away, I saw the picture was of Jensen, a woman I assume is Danneel, and their little girl. I carefully removed the left over glass, and placed the frame face down on the counter. I straightened up the pillows on the couch and moved it where it belonged. 

“You didn’t have to do that,” Jensen spoke up suddenly.

“It’s no problem,” I looked at him; he had on some sweatpants and a hoodie. “What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know. I don’t want to be here, but I also know that Jared has shooting until ten.”

“If you don’t want to wait until Jared’s done, and you don’t want to be alone, you’re more than welcome to my place for the evening. It’d get you away from the stress here, and you wouldn’t have to worry about anything for awhile.”

“If I’m not intruding, then please. Cliff can drive us there, and later he and Jared can drive your car back. With the fact that this is spreading so quickly, I think it’ll be better that Cliff is there, too.”

“Sounds like a plan.”


	13. Aftershock

“Thank you, Cliff,” I said as I got out of the SUV. 

“Yeah, thanks Cliff,” Jensen quietly repeated.

I walked with Jensen towards the elevator. Luckily nobody was in the lobby, and I hoped the elevator would hurry up and get us to the third floor. Jensen looked lost in his own mind, and I wasn’t sure what I could do to help him. His world just seemed to shatter around him. The elevator came to a stop, and as the doors opened Jensen stayed in his thoughts. I hesitantly grabbed his hand. Pulling him from his thoughts, I guided him to my apartment. 

“How’re you doing?” I checked on him as we entered the apartment.

“I’m fine,” he answered too quickly. 

“Jensen, please tell me how you really are. There’s no way you can seriously be fine after what just happened.”

“What do you want me to say, (Y/N)? That I’m not okay, that I haven’t been for years. I’ve been trying so hard to make everyone else in the world happy, and I’ve been miserable. I’ve built a life for myself in acting, and that very well could be over because of what she tweeted. There is no way I can see myself coming back from this,” Jensen’s voice was raised and his eyes were watering.

“Jensen-” 

“No, (Y/N). It’s not okay and it won’t be okay,” his frustration quickly turning to anger.

I wanted to help him, but I didn’t know what I could do. It was out of our control. All that could be done was try to salvage the pieces that were left and go from there. Jensen’s phone suddenly buzzed in rapid succession. I heard the  _ swoosh  _ of him sending off a text, then his face darkening at something on screen. 

I received a text from a number I didn’t recognize. “I’m sorry, it’s about to be ten times worse. I made them finish filming early and am doing everything I can - Jared,” it read. 

I looked up at Jensen in confusion of what Jared just told me. Jensen’s gaze was already trained on me, his glowering expression worrying me. 

“Jensen? What happened?” I shied from his glare.

“Why don’t you tell me, (Y/N)? Because, now, it seems as though this is all your fault,” the venom in his voice stung. “Apparently, the divorce that’s ending my life is because I decided to be unfaithful. That my so claimed assistant, recently seen with me,” he showed me a picture of us on twitter, “took me to her apartment to ‘celebrate’ my divorce.”

“That’s not-”

“Well it doesn’t seem to matter now does it?”

“I’m trying to help, just-”

“You know what (Y/N)? Maybe this wouldn’t have happened the way it currently is if you’d never stumbled back into my life,” his anger increasing. 

“Fine,” I dropped my phone in shock. “Stay here as long as you like,” I numbly murmured.

I walked out the door towards the stairs. I faintly heard Jensen call out to me as I turned the corner, and him swear when he didn't see me in the hallway. Not having anywhere else to go, I went up. The stairs led to the roof. I just sat up there alone, unaware of the cold seeping into my bones. I couldn’t tell if it was the weather or the pain that was the cause of it.

\---Jensen’s POV---

As soon as the words left my mouth I regretted them. I could see how they broke her. The way her eyes became empty, her phone slipping out of her grasp onto the floor, and the slow blink as the words sunk in.

“Fine, stay here as long as you like,” she turned and walked out the door.

“(Y/N),” I called out as I reached the door. She was gone, the hallway empty. “Damn it!”

I went back into her apartment.  _ She just needs some space,  _ I thought.  _ She’ll be back soon enough. _ I sat on her couch to wait.

\---

The sun was beginning to lower itself towards the horizon and she still wasn’t back. It was cold, and she hadn’t taken anything with her. I tried to call her, but her phone rang from the floor, her keys were on a counter, her car still wasn’t here, and all I could do was replay what I’d said. The look of hurt. The flash of betrayed pain before the nothingness enveloped the depths of her (Y/E/C) eyes. How she’d responded above a whisper, barely audible. The robotic way that she’d moved, almost like a defense.

I wish I could take back my words. That my anger and frustration towards Danneel hadn’t been turned on her. (Y/N) hadn’t done anything wrong. She’d gone out of her way to keep me from being alone because I didn’t want to be, then the stupid paparazzi picture showed up with speculations swarming around it on Twitter. The once welcoming community began to call her such terrible things. Danneel didn’t say anything to disagree with the statement, and I knew if I said anything it’d only make matters worse for the both of us. 

Jared asked me earlier when to pick me up, but I just told him not to worry about it, I was going to stay at (Y/N)’s tonight. I couldn’t leave while she was still somewhere alone. She didn’t even really know the city. Where could she have gone for so long? Not knowing what else to do at this point, I began to look around her apartment for any inkling of where she could be. 

\---(Y/N)’s POV---

I sat on the roof for hours. I saw the sun set slowly over the Vancouver skyline. I couldn’t forget what Jensen said. That this backlash on him was my fault. That he didn’t want me back in his life like I thought. Maybe we weren’t able to be friends again like I’d hoped. I didn’t even know if he was still in my apartment. I didn’t want to be there if he was, but the only way to know was to see for myself. I willed my cold, stiff body to move again. To slowly make my way to the stairwell’s door with the stars’ light guiding me. 

Not knowing the time, I quietly made my way down to my door.  _ Shit, I don’t have my key, _ I knocked softly on my door. I heard the quiet shuffling stop. I knocked again, then there was a rush towards the door. It flung open to reveal a disheveled Jensen. His frantic eyes widened as he quickly pulled me into a hug. Without thinking, I flinched at the sudden contact from him. 

“(Y/N), I’m so sorry,” he released me as I entered my apartment. 

I stayed silent, content with the numbness that was preventing me from further getting hurt. I made my way to my room, closed the door, and laid on my bed. I stared at the blankness that was my wall. What had once begun to feel like a home now felt cold and alien. 

“(Y/N) please let me talk to you,” Jensen called through the door. 

“I know that you don’t want me, just let it be, Jensen,” I said. 

I heard a  _ thud _ on my door then the sound of him sliding to the floor. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said. “Even if it takes forever, I will make things right.”

_ Nothing’s changed,  _ I solemnly thought.  _ You don’t want me around.  _

**\---Author’s Note---**

**Hi, it’s been awhile. Two weeks of no upload. Well, I didn’t know how to get this chapter right. It was always either too much or not enough. Hopefully this is a good middle ground to push forward with the story. Thank you for reading and being patient. I appreciate you all!**


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